Hello,
Here are my doodles...
It didnât just happen on its own; I feel like I have no imagination đ.
Iâm having trouble just placing the elements, or everything feels too crowded đ.
...after the perspective... the different views... is it acceptable...???
But I enjoyed the process đ.
Well, youâre doing a great job! Youâve created a variety of scenes, and theyâre well-balanced. There are occasionally some minor issues with the construction (some houses seem stretched or squashed). But overall, itâs really very good, and you have a great imagination, so donât worry!
This is pretty good. Your second panel is better than the first. The compositions are more open, whereas in the first one, it feels like youâre trying to fill the space completely, and the compositions are less interesting (like the third one, for example). As a result, your second panel is much better and tells a more compelling story. :)
Nice drawing, although I think itâs a bit empty. It would have been interesting if she were holding the flower, or if we could see a vase, or the girlâs shoulders. In terms of composition, I would have made the flowers less prominent so that we focus more on your character. Here, your flowers are almost the same size as your character, which creates competition (you wouldnât have this problem if you showed more of the body).
Regarding the course material, I need more context/environment around your scenes: where are we? In the city? In the countryside? Whatâs around? Donât hesitate to use less frontal viewpoints; itâs quite rare to see something from this perspective.
Try the exercise again ^^ You certainly have some basic elements to place, but you can add many other things around them. Try to tell a story with each composition: what is this house? Who is this character? Is it a haunted and scary house? A witchâs hut lost in the middle of the woods? A rustic cottage? The villa of an aristocrat? Invent whatever you want, as long as you use the required elements :3 And add a frame, because at first I thought it was just one image.
There are some interesting things in your work, but you have two recurring problems that slightly detract from the overall quality:
1. You frame your shots too tightly, which creates tangents (objects or an element and your frame that touch on the same line or almost touch >> this should be avoided at all costs). Give everything some breathing room; it will be much more pleasing to the eye.
2. Pay attention to the scale of your elements. I'm thinking in particular of your trees, which are very small and thick, which distorts the rest of the composition a bit. Even though it's just a quick sketch, it's the kind of detail that can ruin an entire composition.
I've attached a correction to show you what it could look like if you gave it more space and resized your trees better.
Hello Rakjah, thank you for your corrections. Iâve revised the jokes, which Iâm attaching, taking your advice into account. Let me know what you think. Have a good day. Vndqnd
I donât remember exactly what I told you before or what your previous work was like, but here, it seems pretty good. Iâm still attaching some corrections because there are still a few minor things that disrupt the composition.
1. Perspective: Be careful to place all your objects in a consistent manner according to the same perspective. The swing in the first panel was in the wrong perspective, as was the roof of one of the houses in the last panel and the walls of the panel in the top right corner. The same goes for the ladder on the house at the top, which is too small, which is inconsistent with the perspective you chose.
2. Randomness: Here, it mainly concerns the trees in panel 3. I see that you tried to vary their size, but they are all roughly the same: their tops are aligned (impossible), their trunks are aligned, they have similar widths, etc. So, I added some randomness :)
Thatâs it, but otherwise, you have some compositions that work very well, like the first and the last ones, which I barely touched ^^
There are still some things to work on, but weâre on the right track: D You can move on to the next one, and donât hesitate to practice this from time to time đ
Itâs not bad, a bit minimalist, but it lacks some environment. Feel free to show me where the house is; youâve done it sometimes, but not everywhere ^^
Be careful with the street of houses; some of them have roofs that slope sharply towards us. I like the one with the waterfall, but you have a small inconsistency: you show the basin (rounded) where the water flows, and the top of the cliff (perfectly straight and frontal), which is probably not possible. Round off the edge to match the basin, and it will be better (and it will also allow you to move the tree away from the edge of the cliff). Feel free to vary the compositions a bit more as well. The first three are purely central. The one in the lower right is shifted to the left, but thereâs empty space on the right, so it doesnât really âwork.â If you shift it, it should either be to balance it with something else or to draw attention to something in the empty area ^^
So, thereâs still a bit of work to do, I think, but it looks pretty good already :3
Hello Rakjah,
Following your advice, I reworked two of the sketches and added an extra one.
I didnât change the roofs of the houses: I wanted to vary the roof designs. Can you help me? I wanted some sloping roofs, but also some modern roofs (straight on one side and sloping on the other) đ
Thanks in advance!
Iâve attached a revision for the houses, hoping that I understood what you were trying to achieve.
Donât hesitate to do some practice exercises by recreating images/screenshots that you like, to understand how it works (in a simplified way). Here, you seem to be having trouble moving away from frontal/profile views, from straight lines and flat perspectives. This could help you understand a lot of things. ^^
Iâve made a few attempts. I found it quite difficult to create compositions that convey something meaningful, especially in portrait mode, which I find less easy than landscape mode.
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14/05/2020
Here are my doodles...
It didnât just happen on its own; I feel like I have no imagination đ.
Iâm having trouble just placing the elements, or everything feels too crowded đ.
...after the perspective... the different views... is it acceptable...???
But I enjoyed the process đ.
Voici mes pochades ...
Ce n'est pas allĂ© tout seul, j'ai l'impression de n'avoir aucune imagination đ
J'ai de la peine Ă "juste" placer les Ă©lĂ©ments ou alors tout est rempli đ
... aprÚs la perspective... les vues différentes ... est-ce acceptable ... ???
Mais j'ai eu du plaisir dans le labeur đ
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20/05/2020
Well, youâre doing a great job! Youâve created a variety of scenes, and theyâre well-balanced. There are occasionally some minor issues with the construction (some houses seem stretched or squashed). But overall, itâs really very good, and you have a great imagination, so donât worry!
Eh bien tu t'en sors trÚs bien ^^ Tu as fait des vues variées, équilibrées. Il y a parfois des petits soucis de construction (des maisons qui semblent étirées / écrasées). Mais sinon c'est vraiment trÚs bien et tu as de l'imagination, ne t'inquiÚte pas :3
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14/05/2020
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16/05/2020
Here are my little compositions; thereâs a second page. Itâs always really helpful to receive feedback, thank you very much!
Voici mes petites compositions, il y a une seconde page. C'est toujours super intéressant les conseils donnés, merci beaucoup!
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20/05/2020
This is pretty good. Your second panel is better than the first. The compositions are more open, whereas in the first one, it feels like youâre trying to fill the space completely, and the compositions are less interesting (like the third one, for example). As a result, your second panel is much better and tells a more compelling story. :)
I approve! đ
C'est pas mal tout ça. Ta seconde planche est meilleure que la premiÚre. Les compo sont plus aérées, alors que sur la premiÚre on a l'impression que tu cherches à remplir absolument l'espace et les compos snt moins intéressante (la troisiÚme par exemple). Ta seconde planche est bien mieux du coup et ça raconte plus de choses :D
Je valide đ
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16/05/2020
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18/05/2020
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20/05/2020
Nice drawing, although I think itâs a bit empty. It would have been interesting if she were holding the flower, or if we could see a vase, or the girlâs shoulders. In terms of composition, I would have made the flowers less prominent so that we focus more on your character. Here, your flowers are almost the same size as your character, which creates competition (you wouldnât have this problem if you showed more of the body).
Regarding the course material, I need more context/environment around your scenes: where are we? In the city? In the countryside? Whatâs around? Donât hesitate to use less frontal viewpoints; itâs quite rare to see something from this perspective.
Try the exercise again ^^ You certainly have some basic elements to place, but you can add many other things around them. Try to tell a story with each composition: what is this house? Who is this character? Is it a haunted and scary house? A witchâs hut lost in the middle of the woods? A rustic cottage? The villa of an aristocrat? Invent whatever you want, as long as you use the required elements :3 And add a frame, because at first I thought it was just one image.
Good luck đ
Joli dessin bien qu'un peu vide je trouve. Ăa aurait Ă©tĂ© intĂ©ressant qu'elle tienne la fleur, ou qu'on voit un vase, qu'on voit les Ă©paules de la demoiselle. En terme de compo, j'aurais rendu les fleurs moins prĂ©sentes aussi pour qu'on reste plus concentrĂ© sur ton personnage. Ici tes fleurs font quasiment la mĂȘme taille que ton personnage, du coup ça rentre en concurrence (avec le reste du corps tu n'aurais pas eu ce souci).
Concernant le support de cours, il me manque du contexte / de l'environnement autour de tes scĂšnes : oĂč se trouve-t-on ? En ville ? A la campagne ? Qu'y-a-t-il autour ? N'hĂ©site pas Ă sortir des points de vue trĂšs frontaux, c'est assez rare de voir quelque chose de cette maniĂšre.
Retente l'exercice ^^ Certes tu as des Ă©lĂ©ments de base Ă placer, mais tu peux ajouter pleins d'autres choses autour. Essaye de me raconter une histoire avec chaque composition : quelle est cette maison ? Qui est ce personnage ? Est-ce une maison hantĂ©e et effrayante ? Une cabane de sorciĂšre perdue au milieu des bois ? Une chaumiĂšre champĂȘtre ? La villa d'un aristocrate ? Invente ce que tu veux, tant que tu utilises les Ă©lĂ©ments imposĂ©s :3 Et mets un cadre aussi, au dĂ©but j'ai cru qu'il s'agissait d'une seule image.
Bon courage đ
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20/05/2020
There are some interesting things in your work, but you have two recurring problems that slightly detract from the overall quality:
1. You frame your shots too tightly, which creates tangents (objects or an element and your frame that touch on the same line or almost touch >> this should be avoided at all costs). Give everything some breathing room; it will be much more pleasing to the eye.
2. Pay attention to the scale of your elements. I'm thinking in particular of your trees, which are very small and thick, which distorts the rest of the composition a bit. Even though it's just a quick sketch, it's the kind of detail that can ruin an entire composition.
I've attached a correction to show you what it could look like if you gave it more space and resized your trees better.
Il y a des choses intéressantes dans ton travail, mais tu as deux problÚmes récurrents qui gùchent un peu le tout :
1. tu serres trop tes cadrages, ce qui crĂ©ent des tangentes (des objets (ou un Ă©lĂ©ment et ton cadre) qui se touchent sur une mĂȘme ligne ou presque >> Ă Ă©viter Ă tout prix). Laisse tout ça respirer, ç sera beauuuucoup plus agrĂ©able.
2. Attention Ă tes Ă©chelles entre tes Ă©lĂ©ments. Je pense en particulier Ă tes arbres qui sont trĂšs petits et Ă©pais, ce qui fausse un peu tout le reste. MĂȘme si ça reste du croquis rapide, c'est le genre de dĂ©tail qui peut planter une compo.
Je t'ai joint une correction pour te montrer ce que ça peut donner en aérant et en redimensionnant mieux tes arbres ^^
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19/05/2020
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20/05/2020
I donât remember exactly what I told you before or what your previous work was like, but here, it seems pretty good. Iâm still attaching some corrections because there are still a few minor things that disrupt the composition.
1. Perspective: Be careful to place all your objects in a consistent manner according to the same perspective. The swing in the first panel was in the wrong perspective, as was the roof of one of the houses in the last panel and the walls of the panel in the top right corner. The same goes for the ladder on the house at the top, which is too small, which is inconsistent with the perspective you chose.
2. Randomness: Here, it mainly concerns the trees in panel 3. I see that you tried to vary their size, but they are all roughly the same: their tops are aligned (impossible), their trunks are aligned, they have similar widths, etc. So, I added some randomness :)
Thatâs it, but otherwise, you have some compositions that work very well, like the first and the last ones, which I barely touched ^^
There are still some things to work on, but weâre on the right track: D You can move on to the next one, and donât hesitate to practice this from time to time đ
Je ne me rappelle plus ce que je t'avais dit ou ton travail précédent, mais ici ça me semble pas mal. Je te joins malgré tout une correction parce qu'il reste des petites choses qui cassent tes compo.
1. La perspective : attention Ă bien mettre tous tes objets de maniĂšre cohĂ©rente selon une mĂȘme perspective. La balançoire de la premiĂšre vignette Ă©tait dans une mauvaise pers', ainsi que le toit de l'une des maisons de la derniĂšre case et les murs de la vignette en haut Ă droite. Tout comme l'Ă©chelle de la maison en haut qui est riquiqui ce qui n'est pas cohĂ©rent avec la perspective que tu as choisie.
2. De l'aléatoire, ici ça concerne principalement les arbres de la vignette 3. Je vois que tu as essayé de varier leur taille, mais ils sont sensiblement tous pareils : leur cime est alignée (impossible), leur tronc est aligné, ils ont des largeurs similaires, etc. Du coup j'ai ramené de l'aléatoire :)
Voilà , mais sinon, tu as des compos qui marchent trÚs bien. Comme la premiÚre et la derniÚre que je n'ai quasiment pas touchées ^^
Y a encore des trucs Ă travailler, mais on tient le bon bout lĂ :D Tu peux passer Ă la suite, n'hĂ©site pas Ă t'entrainer lĂ -dessus de temps en temps đ
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19/05/2020
Here are my jokes. Thank you in advance for correcting them.
Have a good day, everyone.
Voici mes pochades. Merci d'avance pour la correction.
Bonne journée à tous
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20/05/2020
Itâs not bad, a bit minimalist, but it lacks some environment. Feel free to show me where the house is; youâve done it sometimes, but not everywhere ^^
Be careful with the street of houses; some of them have roofs that slope sharply towards us. I like the one with the waterfall, but you have a small inconsistency: you show the basin (rounded) where the water flows, and the top of the cliff (perfectly straight and frontal), which is probably not possible. Round off the edge to match the basin, and it will be better (and it will also allow you to move the tree away from the edge of the cliff). Feel free to vary the compositions a bit more as well. The first three are purely central. The one in the lower right is shifted to the left, but thereâs empty space on the right, so it doesnât really âwork.â If you shift it, it should either be to balance it with something else or to draw attention to something in the empty area ^^
So, thereâs still a bit of work to do, I think, but it looks pretty good already :3
C'est pas mal, un peu minimaliste, ça manque d'environnement tout ça. N'hĂ©site pas Ă me montrer oĂč se trouve la maison, tu l'as fait parfois, mais pas partout ^^
Attention avec la rue des maison, certaines ont le toit qui penche sĂ©vĂšrement vers nous. J'aime bien celle avec la cascade, mais tu as une petite incohĂ©rence : tu montres le bassin (arrondi) oĂč se jette l'eau, et le haut de la falaise (parfaitement rectiligne et frontal), c'est peut probable. Arrondis le bord pour ĂȘtre raccord avec la cuvette et ce sera mieux (et ça permettra de dĂ©coller l'arbre du bord de la falaise aussi. N'hĂ©site pas Ă varier un peu plus les compositions aussi. Les trois premiĂšres sont purement centrales. Celle en bas Ă droite est poussĂ©e vers la gauche, mais on a du vide Ă droite, du coup ça ne "sert" Ă rien. Si tu dĂ©cales, c'est soit pour Ă©quilibrer avec autre chose, soit pour amener l'attention sur quelque chose dans la zone vide ^^
Du coup encore à retravailler un peu je pense, mais ça m'a l'air pas mal déjà :3
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24/05/2020
Following your advice, I reworked two of the sketches and added an extra one.
I didnât change the roofs of the houses: I wanted to vary the roof designs. Can you help me? I wanted some sloping roofs, but also some modern roofs (straight on one side and sloping on the other) đ
Thanks in advance!
Sur tes conseils, j'ai retravaillé 2 pochades et j'ai fait une planche supplémentaires.
Pour le toit des maisons, je n'y ai pas touchĂ© : je voulais varier les modĂšles de toits. Peux-tu m'aider ? Je voulais des toits pentus mais aussi des toits modernes (droit d'un cĂŽtĂ© et pentu de l'autre) đ
Merci d'avance !!!!!
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30/06/2020
Iâve attached a revision for the houses, hoping that I understood what you were trying to achieve.
Donât hesitate to do some practice exercises by recreating images/screenshots that you like, to understand how it works (in a simplified way). Here, you seem to be having trouble moving away from frontal/profile views, from straight lines and flat perspectives. This could help you understand a lot of things. ^^
Je t'ai joint une correction pour les maisons, en espérant avoir compris ce que tu cherchais à faire.
N'hĂ©site pas Ă faire des exercices de composition en reproduisant des images / screenshots que tu aimes bien pour comprendre que ça marche (schĂ©matiquement hein). Ici tu as du mal Ă sortir des vues frontales / profil, Ă sortir du rectiligne et du plat. Ăa peut t'aider Ă comprendre pleins de choses ^^
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23/05/2020
Iâve made a few attempts. I found it quite difficult to create compositions that convey something meaningful, especially in portrait mode, which I find less easy than landscape mode.
Thank you in advance for your insights.
J'ai fait quelques tentatives. J'ai eu pas mal de peine à faire des compositions qui représentent quelque chose, surtout en mode portrait que je trouve moins facile que le format paysage.
Je vous remercie d'avance pour vos lumiĂšres đ
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30/06/2020
I donât have much to criticize; only the first one doesnât work as well. But the rest works perfectly đ
J'ai pas grand-chose Ă redire, il n'y a que la premiĂšre qui fonctionne moins bien. Mais le reste fonctionne impeccable đ